DAY 9 Obesa cantavit

Ardlui to Loch Ness

Omnibus edition










Having spent the night alone in the camper van I awoke fully refreshed. Aled and Gareth Alun my two new back up crew had volunteered to spend the night in a tent in the company of 2,000 midges,2 frogs and a rabid dog and woke up in the morning covered in a fierce looking rash.They had faces like 2 slices of Brawn. I left them to strike camp and faced the usual first 10 miles of agony before settling down to a steady pace. My intention over the next couple of days was to cycle as long as I felt like it and didnt have any definite stopovers planned or indeed when I was actually going to get to John O Groats. Thursday lunchtime was my deadline.


First part of today was to be the A82 up to Fort William.I was very wary of Glen Coe and the Ben Nevis mountain range that lay ahead.Names like Black Mountain gave me visions of cycling up the side of a house. It was a beautiful day and apart from the physical discomfort( I was now wearing 2 pairs of cycling shorts and enough cream to supply the maternity wing of a general hospital)The road climbed steadily and was not proving too streneous and I was very pleased with the bike as it seemed to cope brilliantly( Even the falling off pedal was now staying put)On reaching Tyndrum I realised what this area was like during the winter as there was a gate there that could be used to close the main road if there was too much snow. There were also 8ft high poles along the side of the road to help the snowploughs keep to the tarmac.The climbing was now more than steady but I was amazed at my progress. First stop of the day was the Bridge of Orchy. And that is all it was , a small stone bridge and nothing else.


I was overtaken by a couple on a bike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


A friend of mine lives about 3 miles down the road from Afon Orchy so I called him up to "suprise" him and his family... he wasnt home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The road from the bridge of Orchy on was a steady climb, very bleak and desolate but with fantastic mountain views. Passing Loch Tulla up a very steep climb I was met at the top by a herd of wild deer with a giant stag in charge with awesome antlers. They were quite happy accepting snacks from passers by.
A large cross eyed doe gave me a wink but I cycled on knowing she was only after my chip choc cookie.(They are all the same)














Pit Stop at Glen Coe












The route down from Glen Coe was extremly fast and I didnt really have time to appreciate the scenery( another time!!)It was the a gentle cycle along the banks of Loch Linnhe to Fort William.I had previously sailed up this Loch during the 3 peaks Yacht race and it was good to see it from a different angle. The Corran narrows looked really narrow and many an hour had been spent trying to sail through this narrow bottleneck.

Fort William brought me and my trusty back up together and we had a long pit stop to discuss tactics and drink tea. Gareth Alun took some time out to do his shopping!!!

Milage so far today was 60 miles and since I was feeling well and the backup were keen to push on and see the sights I decided to carry on and take the day hour by hour.Little did I know that it was the World MTB Cycling Championships and that soon I would end up in the middle of thousands of professional cyclists!!!!!Well tummy in and look the part.The squeaky pedal was a bit of a giveaway!!!

The rest of the afternoon was spent more or less running( well cycling) in a NEly direction along the A82. It was very scenic with mountains and Lochs and mor mountains and Lochs.

The climbing was very steady from Fort William and this was the furthest North I had been ( apart from in a sailing boat). At Spean Bridge I stopped at the Commando Memorial. It was a very quite and serene place and I sat there for a while thinking about the men that had trained and survived in this wildernes . It really seemed to me that I should be ashamed of myself for moaning about a bit of saddle sore bum syndrome and a dodgy hip.We owe these men a lot and in fact I seemed to get some new stamina from somewhere after spending a few minutes at this spot and putting what I was doing in context with the effort of others.I was still thinking about the Commandos when I was rudely awakend at Fort Agusta by the greeting" Where you going you fat bar steward" It was the back up crew having a spot of tea at a roadside cafe. !!!I reminded them that I worked for the Event Commission and not as a Bar Steward!!

NO CYCLING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was now early evening and we decided to look for a campsite as I was getting rather tired and a bit wobbly. I found this to be the case over the last few days as I seemed to lose concentration on the cycling and would wander all over the place. Not the thing to do when in the company of Hgv's Buses and mad postmen in camper vans.It was getting dark as I got to the campsite on the banks of Loch Ness at Drumnadrochty. Tired, sore but worried. There were more back up crew on the way... Robin Penlan Roberts and Alwyn M Eisteddfod Roberts.. Gulp Look out Scotland

DAY 8 ABINGTON to ARDLUI ( Loch lomond)

" And here is the shipping forecast for............. wet and windy!! And didn't I know it.. ....it had rained and blown all night( rain outside wind inside the camper van ( Hugh Charles was suffering from a little flatuence I believe!!)








It was a miserable morning and again I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. Following my usuall cereal and bannana off I went with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.It was the usuall morning struggle for the first 10 miles untill the cream, poultrice,tablets, potions, pills and ointments started working. The road was again the brilliant B7078 traffic free and fairly flat.The "back up crew of 1 had a lie in this morning and gave me a 2 hour start hoping to meet up in Larkhall just south of Hamilton to plot how we were going to tackle Glasgow !!!




The morning weather improved dramatically and the world seemed a brighter place and the cycling was really getting into a mean rythm.



Rolled into Larkhall and aftera cuppa and some cake and a lenghthy route planning trip we decided to go our seperate ways and meet up 25 miles later north of Glasgow.



I thought this was a good idea.... Stupid boy Pike.



A word of warning to budding navigators... It is not easy to navigate through the streets of Hamilton and Glasgow with two pages ripped out of a £1.99 AA 2001 Road Atlas.I got lost on numerous occassions and the "stop go pull out the map put on the glasses" routine was getting as stale as Dilwyn Pierce's jokes. The people of Hamilton probably think its a lovely place.....

But
I followed the A 724 as best I could but it was a real nightmare, names like Cambuslang, Rutherglen will haunt me forever. In fact I went through Rutherglen three times. Once from the West once from the South and once from 2 points abaft the beam. ( This is a nautical term as is shiver me timbers, pieces of eight, splice the mainbrace and is all that your ownBosun!!)


A lot of navigation was now by instinct and I followed a bus for a while with City Centre written on the back of it. It took me straight to Glasgow Bus depot where I noticed it had " Out of Commission written on the front!!!!!!!!!!!! Och
Following heavy traffic I suddenly found myself at traffic lights with no traffic at all.!!!! Nothing. It was like a Burnley National Milk Bar during Ramadam..... and then as if in a Benny Hill show I was engulfed by thousands of women wearing pink brassiers and trainers.. all taking part in the Glasgow Charity half marathon. Entering into the spirit of things and not wishing to seem a party pooper I cycled on regardless much to the amusement and bewilderment of the course marshalls. I crossed the finishing line 5th in the Double D Cup.





Finally exhausted after my encounter with the brassiered women I found the Glasgow to Loch Lomond cycle path . This was abeautiful well planned cycleway running along the banks of the Clyde with exellent views of the city. All was going well and I even had time to ponder as to the whereabouts of Hugh Charles and the Camper van. I prayed that he had not come across the ladies in their pink bras otherwise I might never see him again.



I then hit Clydebank.. Ouch. The old Glasgow dock area was being re built and the cycleway dissapeared amongst the rubble. This area brought back memories of when I was last here in 1973 loading Whisky aboard a cargo ship bound for the Persian Gulf. I was 17 at the time and was the dedicated Security Officer for the loading. I still have a vauge memory of the Glaswegian terms I picked up... " Can yor mama sow? well get ere to stitch that!!! " Do yer knw the way to the nearest infirmary?? and "You can't catch a Kangaroo with a wooden leg! ( or was that Sydney?).


I followed the Clyde as best I could and finally made contact with the support. When I mentioned the racing ladies Hugh Charles told me that he was on his way back to find them!! We made arrangements to meet up in Dumbarton for a spot of tiffin!! It was very nice to pass under the Erskin Bridge and I felt at last I was in Scotland .I even felt I had a tilt in my kilt.

The little Chef at Dumbarton was very emotional. ( his dog was ill!!)
No I mean it was very emotional for Hugh Charles and me at the Little Chef Car park. It was changeover time amongst the backup squad. It was a change of shift at Nasa Mission control. Hugh headed off into the dusk in a black Bmw which Aled and Gareth Alun had driven up in ( Thanks to Hugh at Moduron Llanuwchllyn ). His garage motto is "ceir da rhad a ceir da rhad" Translated roughly as "Æþùð ÐÇœŒŽ‡ƒ &œ‡¥¥3 rhad"
I let Hugh to pass on the legacy of Nia and do a bit of staff training with Aled and Gareth Alun. The back up was increasing now as we had a camper and Alun had his own car for scouting purposes.
The rest of the afternnon I cycled up the A82 along the banks of Loch Lomond, through some beautiful countryside. The road surface was poor and the road narrow and traffic heavy but what the hell!!! WE stayed the night at a tiny village called Ardlui ( we actually found it was only a pub and a campsite nothing else) I had a good nights sleep right on the banks of Loch Lomond ( Gareth Alun and Aled slept in a tent amongst the midges)
It had been a good day and I was in Scotland
MILAGE 85
RIDE TIME 7 hrs 15 mins ( stop go stop go all day)
PUNCTURES 0
PROBLEMS ..., sore body, getting lost, navigation, women in bras, weak bladder syndrome( a worry in built up areas)


POINT OF INTEREST HERE ACCORDING TO THE TOM TOM THE CENTRE OF GLASGOW IS CLOSER' TO BALA THAN TO JOHN O GROATS. (This was very good for moral Aaaaaagh)

DAY 7" And on the seventh day............."

PENRITH to ABINGTON




A6 to Carlisle runs side by side with the M6. A fantastic road for cyclist although the long long straight bits can be daunting.( Flat but daunting)




Some quite little villages like Low Hesket, High Hesket, Little Hesket, Big Hesket and Fair to middling Hesket.




Carlisle was done with in a flash and then it was cock up time. Junction 44 M6 i.e the End of the M6 I turned off one exit too early and ended up on the A74 which really is a motorway in disguise.With the on going roadworks there was no hard shoulder so I had a narrow 2ft wide strip to concentrate on.




My thanks should go here to the driver of a National Holidays Coach who tried his best to give me a free lift!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



This was the worst 5 miles of cycling I had ever encountered. Warning to all KEEP OFF THE A74. I was very sore and painful but I managed to speed up rather quickly to get off this stretch of hell.


Hugh Charles was left a bit breathless when he overtook me in the fast lane.And a bit concerned !!












Hugh Charles with one leg in Scotland one leg in England and one hand on a Pole!!















Next stop was the famous Gretna Green and I asked Hugh Charles to marry me.!!



Och aye and we got to Bonny Scotland at last and enjoyed a massive scots breakfast ( a bucketful of porridge)














Next came the best kept secret in cycling the B7076. Following the M6 all the way up Crawford/ Abington.This was a fantastic road and we only passed half a dozen cars all afternoon. The cycling was a bit of a problem and the pit stops were very numerous due to the weak bladder syndrome which was becoming a worry. By now I wasnt sure if it was the peddle dropping off or something worse!!



This was a fantastic road and I only wished that I felt well enough to enjoy it. Every mile was quite painful but we kept on rolling on.








The first caravan site chosen for the night was not really very welcoming although we could have had our palms read and had baked hedgehog for supper.!!

We decided to carry on to Abington and found a fantastic camsite highly recommended with brilliant showers/ toilets etc.Probably one of the best sites on the whole trip. Went down into the village for supper but I was not really hungry so I gave it a miss.Did not even finish my beer so things were not rosy in the garden tonight.



MILAGE 78

Ride Time 6 hrs 15 mins

Punctures 0

Problems Physical and mental fatigue. Should really have taken a day off today.

DAY 6 SOUTHPORT TO PENRITH

After an early morning Chat with Brian I left the hospital and set off in early mist( Thick fog actually) and light ( Heavy actually) rain along the A565. Busy road but made good time.The first 10 miles of every day were getting to be painful, but today I stopped in a cemetery to have a conversation with Jonsi on Radio Cymru( Welsh Language radio station) and felt better afterwards. Still not sure if it was the effect of Jonsi or just the realisation that I was in a cemetery and I was the only one there that was able to walk out the gate.

Its funny what goes through yor mind when you spend up to 8 hours cycling.

Passed a small village called Potatoes and it was twinned with Pommes de Terre!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?

In the song, "She'll be coming round the mountain" who is she?

Why do dogs walk around in circles before lying down?

How do flies actually land on a celing?

Up the A59 into Preston and looking for the A 6. O yes I found it no problem.. O yes I was going really well. O yes I WAS LOST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Took the A 6 South... and detoured to Clayton le Wood.( 10 mile detour).Back to Preston and this time headed north Aggghhhh.

It was well worth finding, the A6 was very quite and fairly flat and with Hugh Charles( Makes a mean cup of tea) really settling in to his minder role the day went fairly quickly and fairly struggle free. Stopped outside the Rugby Club in Kendal to prepare for the longest climb so far up Shap.If it was training night we would have had a light run out with the boys!!!!!!!!! not

Leaving Kendal the road(A6) just kept on gping up and up and up. A nice cycle through some very isolated countryside.( Pedal fell off again)

The problem with the lack of pre toilet stop warnings were becoming an issue and when in 2 pairs of lycra cycling shorts and 1 being a bib and brace type affair 5 seconds warning was not enough to a) find a suitable quiet lay bye b) Percy to porcelain point.

Last laybye before the main Shap climb Hugh Charles spotted a camper van for sale and was quite interested but couldnt get him in through the door .. So we left it.

This memorial should give you some idea of the bleakness of the place.

The day was not done. Cycled down to Penrith and struggled to find a campsite. It was getting dark by the time we found a place just north of Penrith.Wolfed down a massive plate of spaggetti for dinner and slept like a baby to the musical snoring of my "minder"

MILAGE 102 miles mostly up hill

RIDE TIME 8 hrs 15 mins

Average 12.5 mph

PUNCTURES 0

PROBLEMS Pedal kept falling off, Derrier cream was not working( really sore by now but at least it was taking my mind off my hip)

HIGH POINT SHAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAY 5 FERRY CROSS THE MERSEY

Today was going to be a semi rest day 50 odd miles from Chester up the Wirral accross to Liverpool and up to Southport to see Brian.
Day started bright an early as usuall and there was no sign of Mrs Rottweiller( if only she knew what i'd done in her bush during the night) Bush as in rose bush???My overactive no warning bladder was still a problem.

Today I had a cycling companion, Alun Elidir, Cae Coch Rhydymain. This turned out to be a massive boost to my moral( is it moral or morale!!!!) We basically followed the A41 all the way up to Birkenhead. A busy road with hundreds of stop starts at traffic lights. Alun was a great cycling companion setting a good pace and acting as a windbreak( he's only slightly built but did the job) Stopped at a cycle shop in Little Stanney because one of my nuts came loose and a very helpful lady got me a replacement free of charge.Whilst stopped for repairs I treated Alun to a breakfast and we could have stopped there chatting for hours, but alas we had to cycle on.





Sorry about the picture Alun but its the only one I had!! Apparently taken when a spotted faced ram mistook him for a ewe when he was bending down to tie his shoelaces.




Birkenhead we bought tickets for the Mersey Ferry and within the hour we boarded the aptly names Royal Daffodil. Alun was chatting to everybody and seemed to be quite at home.











The ride through Liverpool and Bootle was uneventful. Stop Go Stop GO, traffic lights all over the place.Walking off the ferry we got chatting to a Scouser and asked the way to Southport. He said that the last cyclist he talked to were on their way to John O Groats and that they must have been F****** Mad. We thanked him for the advice and cycled off.


We followed the A565 up through Bootle and then detoured on the B5193 to Little Crosby ( No relation to Bing I was later told.)


Here we met up with Nia and the Camper and the film crew. As we had a few hours to spare we spent the afternoon doing various camera shots and cycling up and down and down and up according to Catrin the Director's instruction. This was in fact a break for me and I didnt mind at all because all the fees from the tv programme are going towards the appeal.Catrin had been with us on our first day and she had really been extremly helpful in supporting us.


Finally it was time to push on and head towards the Hospital at Southport.



Catrin showing me how to set off to camera and please could I get it right next time!
"Take 27 "....."And make up!! Please can we do something about the ears?"











Getting to the hospital at 18.00 as planned was no problem but seeing Brian outside in his wheelchair was quite something else. I was quite taken by his effort to meet meet me outside the ward and Im not sure whether we shared tears of Joy or sorrow!?
There were quite a few people there visiting Bri and we all had a good chat and shared experiences.
Gareth Lloyd an ex Bala front row forward was there and he had raised money by canoeing down the river Conwy( He must be mad, never ever would you see me in a canoe)
The next hour was very cloudy. My back up team Nia was leaving me at this point and so she spent the hour breifing the next crew member Huw Charles about the do's and dont's and about my dietary needs, what cream went where( it might be worth pointing out here that all cream used during this trip was self applied and that no other secondary parties were involved!!)

Sue, Brians wife had arranged for me to shower in the staff changing area and after a quick change of clothes I felt like a new man( as the actress said to the Bishop.... yawn!!!)


It was quite difficult really to see everybody leaving and going back to Bala. Nia had been brilliant as a back up service and she had done a brilliant job with the camper and kept me going when I hit the bad miles.
Spent a couple of hours with Brian on the ward and did we have a laugh? He had a couple of cans of Irish blackwater hidden away for the occassion and then he started going on about a chap from Corwen who bred monkeys!! When he told me that he took them to various zoo's across the country to let them meet new monkeys and stop inbreeding I had to leave the ward and collapsed outside laughing.. The nurses were in tears laughing at us laughing!!!!!!!!!.
After a couple of hours I retired to the camper for my first night with Huw Charles. He was a sound sleeper but I thought his pink nightie was a bit tight for him under the arms.


MILAGE 45
RIDE TIME 4 hrs 10 mins
PUNCTURES 0
PROBLEMS Traffic, sore big toe ( no nail) stop go stop go


Today was seen as some sort of milestone on my adventure, It was a day I had not really quite prepared for mentally. Seeing Brian, Saying goodbye to my back up crew ( Nia) there is no doubt that she had sorted out my routine, diet and set the standards for the rest of the journey.


The reality is that Im still under halfway there.........................................

DAY 4 HIP HIP NOT HOORAY

After a fantastic nights sleep in a real bed I was up at the crack of Dawn... wps that should be dawn !!Having said my goodbyes to Glenda ( and Dawn !!!!!!)I set off on the A4110 and then B4362 and B4361 to Ludlow. A nice quite ride but I was really struggling with my war wound. My right hip was really playing up and as I was already fully tanked up with painkillers I had to carry on gingerly over hill and dale. I left my mobile phone on and it seemed that it would always ring when I was on a climb. Sods Law I suppose. The ringtone was getting on my nerves ( PC Leslie Wyn)so I switched it off.My mother had the best knack of calling me to tell that the weather was good in Pwllheli and that it should pick up for me during the day!!

Just north of Craven Arms I stopped at a roadside caravan and inside had the best breakfast ever. washed down with 2 large mugs of tea. Highly recommended stop here Its a small vintage caravan about 3 miles north and you can sit inside to eat)

It was then the A49 for most of the day. A fairly decent route apart from the A5 roundabout which was a nightmare.

Having got to Whitchurch I decided to carry on further north and ended up just outside Chester

at a very nice looking campsite . The lady at the site was ex Colditz staff and after some interegation concerning the possibility of Nia being a dog and children smuggler trying to get them on site we were allowed to set up camp for the night. I imagined this fortress of a lady patroling the site at night with a German Shepherd dog guard towers and searchlights blazing.It was rumoured that a family from Ipswich had escaped the week before by digging a tunnel from the laundry room under the perimiter fence and that they were still on the run somewhere on the Denbigh Moors.... GULP !!!! Tony Parry, Lois and Bob Thomas made a suprise visit that night( To bring in the Red Cross Parcels). It was nice to see them an get the latest news about the Rugby Club and Bala.. It was lights out quite early that night at Stalag 16 and I slept like a log dreaming about Steve Mcqueen and the Great Escape.

Stopped at the famous midwaytruck stop fot tea and toasted teacakes. Lydia the tattooed lady delivered them to the camper van

MILAGE 85

RIDE TIME 5 hrs 50 mins

PUNCTURES 0

PROBLEMS Tiredness, BAD BAD hip, Traffic last 20 miles. Sudden urges to go to the toilet( no warning)

Overall milage so far is 365 in 25hrs 16 mins riding time giving me an average of 14.5 MPH ( A good average for a non cycling fat man!!!!!!!!!)

DAY 3

Usuall 7.30 alarm call.... Yawn!!!
Did not feel too good this morning. I think I was becoming imune to the derrier cream and I was very sore all over plus my bad hip was not playing the game and was painful.
Anyway as Bri always says no pain no gain so after overdosing on anadins asprins and other pills to hand off I set. Leaving Nia to try and escape from the campsite as best she could.The ride up to Portishead was a good start to the day along the B3124 good road surface light traffic. ( Always wanted to see what Portishead was like because it was the place we always called up on the radio from all over the world so as to connect to the uk telephone system and make calls home when I was in the Navy)"Portishead Radio, Portishead radio Portishead radio this is MV Ardshiel ... Can you tell Taffs mum that he needs clean underwear" ( not quite but you can get the general idea( pre mobile phones)

From Portishead it was the A369 to junction 19 M5. This was a cyclists nightmare, 4 lanes of traffic and me not quite sure which way to go. Almost ended up going down the M5 towards Lands End.

It was the a bit of Tricky suck it and see navigation through Easton in Gordano( sounds like a 70s porn star!!!) to try and find the cycleway across the Avonmouth Bridge. This was tricky as the signs seemed to contradict each other and pointed in all directions through a housing estate.

I asked a lady who turned out to be of Germanic origin and she was very helpful( Im sure she was Catherine Tate actually)10 minutes later she was still following me pointing and giving me directions.Over the Avon bridge there was an exellent cycle path running along the M5.

It was then the A403 through an industrial estate that seemed to be the size of Wales. It was quick cycling not very scenic but it got me to the old Severn Bridge where I was glad to see that the Camper van and Nia had escaped from the Land that Time foregot in Clevedon.

It had been a long and tiring morning and at this stage I really had doubts as to completing the days ride.

Following a hearty beans on toast with an extra egg or was it egg on toast with an extra bean? I set off across the severn bridge which had fantastic views ( took a bit of video footage here)

It was then the A466 up the Wye Valley and this was a brilliant ride up to monmouth, fantastic scenery hardly any traffic and good road surface.

However in Monmouth I missed the A466 and ended up on the horrific A 40( This should be avoided by people in Sherman Tanks nevermind cyclists)Steep hill with never ending traffic made me feel awful( thats a nice word for how I felt)

Had changed plans in Monmouth and had decided to cycle on to Kingsland to stay at a friend's house for the night.In Hereford got separated from Nia and the Camper van and decided to slog out the A4110 on my own towards Kingsland. Two hours later as if it was a Brian Rix farce Nia came out of one junction and I passed straight in front of here. Unbelivable!!!!

Had to stop by this roadsign which seemed to sum it all up for the day Wobbly Little Dilwyn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Had a fantastic nights rest at Glenda's and as usuall she fed and watered Nia and me. It was a much needed pit stop and I felt much better the following day.

MILEAGE 80

Ride Time 6 hrs10

Punctures 0

Problems Very very tired!!! Saddle sore,Pedal fell off again, Route finding was not easy am.

DAY 2 OKEHAMPTON to CLEVEDON

Day 2 begins bright an early waking up at 7.30 and spending an hour preparing. This includes bike preperation tyres,lubricating.

Self preperation food,clothing and lubricating. Cream la derrier still in use!! Nia spent the hour walking around the campsite with a bowl of dirty plates looking for the washing up facilities( kept her happy)Today was going to be a different day( well its monday for a start and yesterday was a Sunday).

8.30 sharp left the campsite and Nia still with her dirty dishes and headed out along the B3215 towards Crediton.

Quiet country lanes with a few hills but no traffic.The village of Bow had probably the shortest name in England but unfortunately it was twinned with a French village called Henri Mortimer De La Bordeaux Crux a La Chantell du Sud, so it probably had the largest sign in Britain!!!!!! Whilst stopped here in a lay bye for a drink the wife in the caravanete passed me without even a glance( think she was still mad about the washing up!!!) A3072 to Tiverton was a nice ride. Passed a Cider farm but my will power was still strong and I cycled past.Then saw a sign which said cyclepath and off I went, 4 miles down the road I came to a village called Sticklepath !!!!! wish i'd paid more attention to my spelling classes at school.

It was then the A38 all the way to Taunton where I had a pit stop and a spot of lunch and topped up the derrier cream.Cycling through Taunton was a bit of a nightmare and I entered into a conversation with one of the locals at a pedestrian crossing who wished to inform me that " Wales SUCKS"!!!! I politely replied that her mother probably did too.

It was then the A38 through Bridgewater and under the M5 and the B3133 up to Yatton to a campsite.Didnt realise that the Mendip Hills were located in this part of the world ( now I do OUCH!!!!) Well that was the theory but we could not find it so I carried on to the outskirts of Clevedon. We found a weird and wonderful( not so much of the wonderful) campsite. It was like something out of a Hitchcock movie and we were the only ones there!!!! In fact we found the whole of Clevedon to be very weird and empty. ( sorry Mr Mayor of Clevdon)

Talked to a cross eyed man in the pub about my trip but although I explained my route in detail he still looked as if he didnt know whether I was coming or going!!

MILAGE 95

RIDE TIME 6hrs 50 mins

AVERAGE SPEED 13.7 mph

PROBLEMS Heat, Left Pedal fell off, Mendips,Weird Campsite,

PUNCTURES 0

ROUTE. Good choice of route, could do with avoiding major towns. Should have found a more central campsite

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 1

After an all night drive down to Lands End and two hours sleep I was really raring to go ( first lie of this post!!)

Following the usual form filling and registering for the ride( you actually get a certificate for doing it) I went to have the obligatory picture taken at the famous Lands End signpost.

Took me quite a while to get the young lady to spell Y Bala properly(Glad I dont live in Dwygyfylchgi otherwise it would have been an extra day on my trip!!!

There was also a film crew there doing a documentary about dyslexia amongst the elderly!!!!!

Anyway cometh the man cometh the hour or in my case cometh the A30.

Having said my goodbyes and waved cheerfuly at the wife and camera I set off down the carpark only to find I had taken the wrong turning and ended up on a dead end. Had to go back and wave again and then set off on the A30.Up to penzance was a doddle. No traffic no blisters and the cream a la derrier seemed to be just the job.

The first hour was a joy and I thought this is going to be a piece of cake to get out of Cornwall in a day .Stupid boy Pike!!! It was then I hit the real A30 a hussling bussling dual carrigeway with thousands of cars full of tourists fed on cornish pasties and candy floss over the weekend trying to race home at the speed of the starship enterprise running away from a Vulcan warbird and all trying to take a fat welshman on a bike home stuck to their front bumper. My whole day was spent concentrating on a 2 foot wide piece of tarmac avoiding being taken by suprise up the rear ( this is a cycling term)

To pass the time I decided to count the number and variety of species of roadkill ( badgers smell the worst) and to see how many wheel trims I could identify.

The only highpoints of the day were the various feed stations set up by Nia from the camper van at various laybyes.These were like oasis in the middle of a mad dessert( not sure of the spelling here? I mean the place full of sand and not sherry trifle type things!!) of cars vans and

Finally got to the campsite at Okehampton at 20.00 hours .

On a serious note I did what I set out to do and get out of Cornwall in a day( nothing against the place it looked lovely). I would not recomend the A30 unless you were on a tight schedule like me.

Statistics for the day were

DISTANCE 105 miles

RIDE TIME 7 Hrs 55 Mins

AVERAGE 14 mph

PROBLEMS.. HEAT. TRAFFIC.

PUNCTURES 0